why we eat together

there are some days when i wake up to kitchen counters full of dirty dishes or to an empty underwear drawer, so i toss a couple bowls and spoons on the table, fill them with cheerios and scrub the counters or run around the house gathering dirty clothes while my kids munch away.  some days are just like this, but i try, i really try to sit for at least a few minutes to connect and converse with my kids at the table.

we choose to eat dinner together just to be together.  to be as a family.  to be, after the countless diaper changes, the running around in the grass, jumping in the pool, running to the store, scrambling to cook dinner.  Papa comes in.  we gather.  because after this short time, at the table, our bodies consuming, gathering energy, it's going to be jumping on the trampoline, biking in the driveway, reading on the couch, Mama doing dishes, Papa teaching about bugs. 

we eat to connect and bond.  these days this gathering isn't always peaceful - with one crying, one making gurgling noises, one yelling "be quiet, it's my turn to talk!"  that's the time when my husband and i look at each other, smile, and chew our food and don't say one single word to each other.  meal times are naturally loud times.  in our house, we are currently trying to reinforce, "no noises and singing at the table."  

we eat together to teach and to learn.  learning to converse, to talk politely, to listen to others.  manners seem to be a lost art many times, but i want my kids to be responsible members of society.  i choose for them to sit at the table with us.  how well can i teach my kids, to hold a fork, to not spill their drink, to chew, to ask for food, if i'm with them for five seconds then running off and doing my own thing.  how well will they listen to me if they don't sense that i also just want to be with them, enjoy them, hear them out.  as with anything, kids learn by example.  if they are always eating on their own little table and chairs, they have no example to follow.  a childrens' table and chairs can have its uses - but bigger picture: how are we teaching dining and social skills?  how will our kids most effectively learn these?  

so many people complain about not having time to eat meals together.  sometimes that can't be helped, but many times it can be.  we have intentionally chosen not to be involved in a lot of activities - so that we can have most dinners together (and to let them be kids and play!  but that's for another day...)