why i do what i do

ever since i was little, i wanted to be a mommy. three kids later, here i am! i love being a mom. i have felt the deepest joys as i watch my children breastfeed, learn new skills like writing their own name or zippering up a coat, share with a sibling. (and felt the deepest frustrations as they poop on the floor and lie to my face and call a sibling, "dumb"). many moments are filled with laughter and others are filled with drudgery. some moments i am intentional, remembering i've been entrusted with these blessings and they are my responsibility. i remember that i'm impacting my kids' future and future generations! other moments, i feel too exhausted to be intentional - just gotta make sure they're all fed, clean and dressed and make it through the day. my hope is that these kids love God - and i try to teach them to love others as they'd like to be treated. i can only pray that God will grab ahold of their hearts and they would be drawn to Truth and Grace and Righteousness.

i write the following to remind myself of the vision i have for my kids - so that hopefully in sharing a little of why i do what i do, i can encourage and inspire a fellow mother in this pilgrimage...

it seems today's generation leaves us with a blessing and a curse - the blessing of having countless parenting resources at our fingertips - and the curse of the pressure to be super mom. i look at pinterest to get ideas, only to feel inadequate and overwhelmed much of the time. do i look like a super model? or at least exercise regularly? does my house look like martha stewart's? at least is it spotless? did i sew the curtains myself? did i find the best deals on groceries? do my children's clothes look the cutest? did i make a healthy dinner? do i buy local and organic? do i make my kids own birthday cakes? do i have an awesome career, too - and manage it all perfectly?

 it's easy to let important things get in the way of the most important. (or is it just me?)

did i get professional newborn pics? did my kids start swimming lessons at age 2? did they go on a disney vacation by age 5? the skills and abilities and "special" things can be positive experiences - but are they the focus?

do my toddler age kids actually appreciate the birthday decorations i've made?  does what they wear make a day fun?  if i buy a cake instead of make one, will it not be memorable?  the pretty and the picturesque can be enjoyed - but are they the focus?

did i breastfeed at least one year?  did i use cloth diapers?  did i make all the baby food?  important things to consider - but are they the focus?

will my kids feel neglected if i don't get them to eat five fruits and veggies each day?   health is vital to a great life - but is it the focus? what if i don't re-purpose all their t-shirts to make a quilt?  making special things is wonderful - but is it the focus?

 i try and think through why i do what i do, though with 3 kids at home, it's getting harder and harder to not just "survive." but i need a vision, especially when i'm bombarded with pressures, whether real or self-inflicted. "where there is no vision, the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]-blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he" (Proverbs 29:18 AMP).

 i desire my kids to be blessed! so here is just a little of why i do what i do.